Being so gratefully pregnant for the third time sparked some contemplation in me about the lessons that each of my pregnancies has gifted me.
And now that I finally feel well enough in my second trimester, I’ve had the time and energy to sit (or lye on strategically placed pillows to make space for my growing bump;)) and write about my 3 pregnancies and what each of them have taught me.
I’m a big believer that each of our of babies are here to teach us as much as we are here to teach them and when I sit with that for a moment I’m flooded with gratitude and awe at each of my experiences with each of my babies.
PREGNANCY NUMERO UNO.
LESSON #1 ‘ITS SERIOUSLY TIME TO TRUST YOUR INTUITION’.
I’ll always remember this moment when my son communicated with me for the first time and I wasn’t even aware that I was pregnant yet.
I was standing in the kitchen early December 2012 and I was feeling uncharacteristically frustrated at something a friend had said to me. I was going over and over the situation in my mind. Each time I relived it and resisted it in my mind I felt more and more stress building in my body.
THEN all of a sudden I heard this voice say ‘it’s ok Mum’, and in that same instant it felt like there was a vacuum above my head and all the stress was sucked out of my mind and body, leaving me feeling instantly calm.
I remember standing there feeling a mix of emotions, shock, peace, excitement, clarity. I headed straight to the bathroom and did a pregnancy test, that came up negative. I knew to my core though that I was pregnant and my little boy was here, just not quite showing yet in physical form for the test.
I left it 4 more days before I did another test, knowing in my body that it was going to show positive, it was just a matter of time for the hormonal changes to show on a test.
THIS experience was my intuitive awakening. The universes way of saying to me that ‘it’s really time to stop explaining away my intuitive knowings and start to focus on trusting them’. My curiosity was strongly sparked and so began my journey of unwrapping how intuition works. And since then I’ve been diving into how intuition works and receiving so many experiences that illustrate intuition. And many messages from the universe along the way that answer my questions and curiosities.
LESSON #2 ‘IT’S TIME TO FACE YOUR BIGGEST FEAR’.
So, giving birth was my BIGGEST fear of all. Seriously! Even more than dying or public speaking (and I really disliked the thought of either of those too!) But it was finally time to begin to get my head around the end stage of this pregnancy and support myself around birthing my babe.
Being a sensitive empath (and I’m sure some past life experience came to play here too) I’d bought so deeply into the fear that we see in ‘Hollywood movies’ and was petrified of the pain that women looked to be in during labour. And all that screaming totally freaked me out. Enter: my search for some soulful guidance.
I happen to come across a natural birthing workshop when I was about 4 months pregnant that I decided to attend.
As we sat in circle, mostly mums yet to birth, and our 2 facilitators, I was drawn to the energy and love that was radiating out of this one gorgeous woman. As she spoke about being the sister of one of the women in the circle and how she was a Doula, my soul sparked and I knew I had to know more about her and what she did. After the class I headed straight for Bea the Doula and had a millions questions for her. We exchanged numbers and long story short she was my Doula for both my births so far.
Inviting Bea into my births was the missing piece to my puzzle. Considering my hubby and I were totally knew to the whole birthing thing, I loved that we had the support of Bea as a guide through this sacred experience. She was the Yin that my birthing team was missing and among many things, she helped me stay connected to my baby and my body whenever I began to buy into my fears.
Trusting these sparks that I felt from my soul to have Bea as part of my birthing team, was one of the first big decisions that I made intuitively since my son communicated with me that very first day. And one that I am so grateful I followed.
Following the birth of my beautiful baby boy, despite some recovery that would take place after my natural birth, I felt so incredibly empowered! I was so proud of myself and for quite a while after birth I kept saying ‘I did it! I did it!!'. After all the fear I had around giving birth, it was hands down THE most empowering experience of my life so far. I felt like I could do anything!
I love reminiscing about this birthing experience and the re-birthing of myself that occurred. I feel so blessed with the experience that I had. Even though there were some extremely tough and unwanted parts to my birth, the whole experience felt like a sacred rite of passage for my soul growth and into the journey of motherhood.
LESSON #3 ‘YOUR ANGELS ARE ALWAYS WITH YOU’.
The midwives present during my first birth said they had never seen anything like it before...
Back tracking a little... about 3 weeks earlier my beloved Pa passed away, and the day we attended his funeral we had a big family lunch afterwards. Most of my siblings and cousins and I happen to be sitting along the side of a long table with our backs against the wall and during our lunch a huge rainbow shone right across the wall behind all of us. This became the way I communicated with my beloved Pa in the other realm.
Getting back to my first labour... It was about 9pm the night I rent in labour, and I went to bed feeling like I was coming down with the flu. In the midst of that 'almost asleep' state I felt this energy surrounding me like a hug, and knew it was my beloved Pa coming to remind me that It'll all be ok. I drifted off to sleep in the comfort of his hug and at midnight I awoke to my water breaking. After a trip to the hospital and a few more hours at home allowing my labour to progress we headed back to the hospital.
As my labour progressed and I started to get the part where it was intensely uncomfortable and was getting harder and harder to cope with. At that time a rainbow appeared above my head on the wall, and when my doula brought this to my attention, I looked up and saw it and I felt instantly like ‘I got this’, as any fear washed away. I could feel my Pa's presence and love.
As I moved around the birthing suite the rainbow followed me and my birthing team alerted me to where the rainbow was as things progressed. The rainbow was right next to my left leg as I birthed my son, then across my feet as I snuggled with my beautiful babe in bed and then across his head when we moved to our room a little later on. There are many more rainbow instances during the following days, but one thing was for sure, I felt connected and held by forces other than the physical from that day forward.
I’d love to hear if any of these stories have resonated with you or if they have sparked reflection into the lessons that were gifted during your own pregnancies o labour.
Or maybe you have a question for me? Leave a comment in the comment section, I’d love to hear from you.
Big love and hugs,